To Love This Much

I never wanted to love this way.
The way in which the heart is wide open
and you can feel the rawness of the flesh
be touched by the gentle breeze of the morning.

I never wanted to love this way.
The way in which my heart worries
about the wounded coyote I saw this morning
or the homeless person that was walking
on the streets with a lost gaze of despair.

I never wanted to love this way.
The way in which stories penetrate my being
and I can feel the ache of the boy who lost his mother
on the superhero show last night.
Or the hatred on the streets
as people discuss the political debates.
So much fear, so much anger, so much despair.

I never wanted to love this way.
The way in which my heart attaches to those who I love
and fears their getting hurt, getting sick, or dying.

I never wanted to love this way.
The way the ocean loves the sand
and keeps coming back to it over and over again.
Or the way the sky holds the moon and the stars every night
allowing their luminosity in the darkness of its being.

I never wanted to love this way.
The way I love our humanity and the miracle that life is
in the expression of every living thing.

I never wanted to love this way.
The way in which my mother tucked me in at night when I was a child
just as I now tuck in those who I love near and far every night.

I never wanted to love this much,
but here I am, loving…
just loving all that is here.

Cynthia is a Managing Partner and faculty member at New Ventures West.

Photo by Thomas Millot on Unsplash