Author: Dennis Adsit
“It” vs. “You”: A Field Experiment
How many times have you heard this: “kids, don’t try this at home”? But here’s one you might want to try. Zero cost and an ROI that might surprise you. I got the idea from my son. On occasions, after I had done something for him, he would say, “I appreciate you.” I would not…
The Tiger, The Strawberry, and the Role of Beauty
There is a well-known Zen story about a rather non-conventional response to impending doom. A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him…
The Deeper Invitation in the Story of the Empty Boat
Like the Taoist Farmer story, the story of the Empty Boat is often used by coaches to help their clients gain perspective. Here’s a short version: A fisherman is on the water at dusk with poor visibility. He sees a boat coming right towards him and starts getting frantic and yelling for the fisherman steering…
In Our Eyes
I had been staying with my mom for a month, nursing her 98-year-old body back to a relative state of health after a downturn. I am not sure what really happened prior to me getting there, but I think she had kind of thrown in the towel. For almost every moment of her life, she…
The Writer and the Written: Adult Development in Leadership
Dr. Robert Kegan postulates that there are five stages of adult development. The first two, Impulsive Mind and Imperial Mind, are mostly seen in children (or those who act like children!). Stage 3 is the Socialized form of Mind, where we look for external validation and allow the opinions, beliefs, norms and behavior of others…
The Real Lesson in the Taoist Farmer Story
There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically. “Maybe,” the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses.…
Bringing Emotional Intelligence into Balance
There is no denying that the world could use a booster shot of Emotional Intelligence (EQ): greater ability to read the emotional states of others, more awareness of our own inner states and how our behavior is viewed by and affects others, more emotional fluidity… Please, bring it on! Of course, the way things seem…
How and Why to Get Better at Failing
The ability to “fail well” is a skill we all need if we want to accomplish what we set out to do. Failing is really a cornerstone that all other skills are built on. Of course everyone has failed. Sometimes in highly visible ways. It is hard to get through this life without major setbacks.…
The Importance of Props
I recently had an extended consulting project with a company in Silicon Valley. As I was frequently onsite, I developed a rapport with one of the receptionists, whom I’ll call Barbara Lara-Johnson (not her real name). She brightened my day every time I went there. She was fun to interact with, was a huge 49er’s…