Tag: Reflection
Layers of Listening
Many of us spend the majority of our days in conversations of one kind or another. This is particularly true for coaches, therapists, and other practitioners who spend their time supporting others’ development. Bringing greater mindfulness to how we approach conversations with anyone—our clients, colleagues, partners, children, friends, and others—holds the potential to make these…
The Shadow Side of Advice
In Coaching Circles, we stay away from giving advice because it’s the antithesis of development. When a group first gets together, we do make some room for it because it serves as a useful point of departure for developing a coaching posture. The advice reflex is so strong and culturally ingrained that no useful interaction…
Autumn’s Concerto
First Movement: Reminiscence The avenues were lined with gold, and the cobbled pavement, buried in brilliant scarlet. Poetically, that would have been how I’d like to describe the scene. Spending my third fall in the US and that clichéd touristy image of fall with its rich amber maple trees remains a fantasy. One reason was…
In Our Eyes
I had been staying with my mom for a month, nursing her 98-year-old body back to a relative state of health after a downturn. I am not sure what really happened prior to me getting there, but I think she had kind of thrown in the towel. For almost every moment of her life, she…
Turning Toward Sorrow
In the midst of all the suffering that our world is feeling—with the current events in the United States that reveal clearly the ways in which our communities of color continue to suffer directly from discrimination and oppression, while we continue to be in the middle of a pandemic that has people fear not only…
Self-Leadership in Unprecedented Times
In the last months, our worlds as we knew them have shifted and changed, and we are all making sense in our own way. To quote a friend: “The challenge is to find a balance between being pollyanna-ish and alarmist”. As I participate in conversations with different groups – coaching community, executives, leaders, global and…
Death and Spirituality
Death is not something we like to think about, talk about or face up to. And yet the truth of our mortal condition is always lurking just outside of our thoughts, conversations and awareness. As human beings, we know that we will die and that we have no control over when or how. When I…
What are you steering your life by? (Part 2)
What makes a good day? Pretty much every moment we are asking some form of these questions: “how’s it going?”, “how am I doing?”, “am I getting what I want?”, “am I safe?”, “are people liking me?” … It doesn’t matter if we feel we are in a powerful position or an inferior position; these…
What are you steering your life by? (Part 1)
Having goals, having intentions, having plans and preferences are all well and good but, for the most part, they do not affect how we live moment to moment, day to day. In order to bring life to our intentions and aspirations we must discover what is shaping our actions, our thoughts, our speaking right now.…
Bringing your voice to the world
Too many of us are waiting. Waiting until all our concerns and worries are resolved, we have financial security, our stock options vest, our children are settled, we have a strong relationship. Are you waiting for something? Meanwhile, life speeds by, gaining momentum as we grow older. Let’s get over our waiting and start now.…
Who are you – beyond the one constructed to survive?
Recently, this summer, I spoke to someone very close to me and pointed out something that was difficult to say and difficult for the other person to hear. Sounds like an everyday kind of event, doesn’t it? What was important for me, though, was that I was not speaking from my usual self. To speak up…
Playing with time
Okay, this may sound a little out there, but here goes. I’ve been playing with time. It all started one day a couple of years ago. I was getting worried about my coaching practice. Where would I find my next clients? Would I have to go back into the corporate world? If I did, would I…
Nothing to do but “be with”
Each year in late November, around Thanksgiving, I begin a cycle of reflection. As the daylight hours become shorter and dark hours grow longer, it feels like time begins to slow down. Turning inward, I reflect on how life is turning out for me: What is the quality of life that I am experiencing? What…